Tanner is Four!

This little guy turned FOUR years old on Sunday, June 28, 2015. He was SO excited to finally have his birthday. Tanner really likes birthdays, and is always talking about his. 

Jeremy and I did cake and presents with Tanner right after church. (Dallin was sleeping, so Tanner got lots of attention). We kept it simple, and Tanner was thrilled about his party. 

He wanted to add sprinkles to his cake. He really made it his own!

Tanner also wanted a picture of the cake from this angle, haha.

While getting a few pictures of him with his cake, he had to make sure he had four fingers up.

He was really excited!

Then we added the birthday hats. Can't forget that!!

For his birthday service project, Tanner chose to make a package for his Uncle Matt, who is serving a full-time mission in Atlanta, Georgia. Tanner drew him a picture, dictated a letter for me to write and helped choose some things to put in the package. 

Later that day, we did cake again so Dallin could sing with us. DJ wanted to be right next to Tanner when we ate cake. He was really excited for it to be Tanner's birthday.

Jeremy got some good giggles out them, I was so glad to get these shots!

We gave Tanner this pajama top that Jeremy wore as a kid. When Tanner opened it, Jeremy got a little emotional. Turns out these jammies are more special than I realized! I thought Jeremy's mom made them, but actually Grandma Davidson sewed these clothes. Look closely to see Jeremy's name stitched on the pockets. The matching pants still exist, but I need to fix the elastic before Tanner can wear them.

On Monday night, we went out to eat at Applebee's for the birthday dinner.

Tanner was glad that the restaurant people didn't sing to him. He said he didn't want everybody looking at him.

Tanner is inquisitive, silly, creative, and smart. If you play baseball, basketball or wrestling with him, and follow his rules exactly, then you will be his best friend. He loves making airplanes, machines and robots out of paper and trash. He is a talker, a leader, and a singer. Did I mention that he is a talker? If you ask him a simple question, you better be okay with a long, detailed oratory speech for an answer--and don't interrupt! Tanner is good at creating new games, songs and rhymes on a daily basis. He loves practicing his writing and drawing skills, handyman skills and musician skills. He is our little scientist, describing his discoveries like a little professor. One of my favorite things about Tanner is that he has the silliest dance moves! His favorite food is mac&cheese, his favorite color is all the colors, and he plans on being a farmer and daddy when he grows up, with lots of animals, and he will work for Skippy peanut butter. :)

This past year with Tanner has been a unique learning opportunity for me and Jeremy. From what I've been able to figure out, Tanner struggles with general anxiety, including tactile anxieties, that get worse when he is fatigued or hungry. Looking back on this past year, I suspect that Grandma Ginny's death triggered real depression in this sweet little boy, bringing his anxieties to a level that forced us to take notice. His worst behavior lasted from November to about January. Many nights, I would try to think of anytime during the day that we went longer than 15 minutes without Tanner having a tantrum or panic attack. Often, TV was the only thing that offered respite. He would walk aimlessly around the house, complaining that he did not know how to be happy. From Dec-Feb, we saw several professionals and therapists and got blood work (none of which were cheap), but still no clear diagnosis or plan for helping Tanner. Our small town and neighboring cities have limited pediatric care. We decided that I was getting better information and help through prayer, reading books and talking with experienced friends. So we have taken a break from therapists and doctors, and it has been better than I expected.

The other day, I realized that I haven't heard Tanner say "I don't know how to be happy" in a really long time. What a wonderful realization, but also sad that this is something our family has reason to rejoice about. I am very grateful for Heavenly Father's watchful care over me and my son. We are getting through our days much better now. I don't have all the answers, but I've learned a few tricks that are working to help this little person cope with his anxieties and be the happy kid he was meant to be. 

I love my Little Tan Man so very much. He is helping me grow in ways I never thought I would need to grow. I'm hopeful and excited to see what this upcoming year will bring for my beautiful, beautiful four year old boy!