Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Eight is Great!

Tanner turned 8 years old on June 28, 2019. 
It's been an adventure to see this little guy turn 8 and become a big kid. This past year, Tanner experienced some important firsts! He enjoyed his first coach-pitch baseball team. He lost his first tooth! He went kayaking and snorkeling for the first time. He completed his first year of formal piano lessons. And of course, he went to first grade, and says it was his favorite year of school so far.
A big turning point for Tanner this year was going to Puerto Rico for 5 weeks. He learned some Spanish, made new friends, hiked the jungle, and played on dozens of beaches. The best part of the trip was that he learned how to relax and meditate, tackling lots of issues with his anxiety. He developed a lot of good habits that we've tried to build on since then. 
He grew big enough to get a bigger bike, started doing more regular chores like being our trash can retriever and mail retriever, and he started taking care of his own laundry on a regular basis. Tanner improved his reading skills by big bounds, taught himself multiplication, learned lots of rules in basketball and how the game really works, and made more friends at school and in the neighborhood.
Tanner's favorite food is pizza. He will eat most of what we feed to him if it isn't too flavorful. He still has a hard time with ethnic foods, which is unfortunate because I love ethnic foods and cook them a lot. At least I can always count on him to eat breakfast. It is his favorite meal. He will inhale waffles, eggs, bacon, fruit, etc in the morning, and he gets better and better at making his own breakfast. Another important note about food for Tanner is that we have to be careful that he eats soon after waking up and has frequent snacks throughout the day to help avoid meltdowns. When he is too hungry, he gets too upset to eat.
Tanner's favorite thing throughout the year was basketball. He loved studying his sports cards and making up basketball plays and teams for recess with his friends. Almost everyday, he had something to tell us about how basketball (or kickball or soccer) went during recess. He was so passionate about everything that happened in each game, and especially upset when kids didn't follow the real rules to the game. After school, he shot hoops on Roger's court behind our house every chance he could, either alone or with Dallin. When it was too cold, he shot hoops in the basement with the toddler hoop that he set up on a chair. We also took him to the church to shoot hoops in the winter. In PR, he shot hoops everywhere, too. Also throughout the year, he loved playing other sports like baseball and football, especially with Jeremy and Dallin on the lawn.
Other things Tanner does for fun is create and solve his own math problems, build his own creations with legos, improvise on the piano, play PBS kids games on the computer, read non-fiction books about science and the world, ride his bike, and boss his little brother around. He loved climbing on the climbing tree, swinging on a swing or laying in a hammock to calm down. Tanner is often the calmest when he is making something, like drawing a picture, writing a story or list, or building with something like legos. It is common to hear him singing or beat boxing around the house. He also likes to dance, especially making up his own break dancing moves.
One strength we saw a lot of this year is Tanner's loyalty to his friends. He had a couple of classmates that he became really close with (and maybe even borderline obsessed with). They were always on his mind! He made little gifts and notes for them constantly. He told us stories about them everyday when he came home from school and always wanted to do stuff for them!
Tanner loves to be the leader. He pays attention to detail as he organizes games and rooms and supplies. He loves to overthink, which is sometimes nice, but often causes problems when other people have different ideas from him. In all reality, he approaches life in very similar ways to me! This is sometimes endearing and fun to see my "mini-me" doing exactly what I would do. And other times it is absolutely terrifying! The only thing worse than having an inner battle with yourself is having a battle with a little human that you created and is excatly like you, but isn't you!
In May, when we were scrambling to move our family to San Diego, we realized that Tanner's birthday would occur while we'd be unpacking boxes in our new home and traveling for weddings. Tanner was pretty devastated about it. The thing that bummed me out was that his baptism would not take place in Minnesota like I had fondly anticipated (he wouldn't turn 8 until after we were gone).
We decided to throw a very early, very last-minute birthday party for Tanner. Very early because it occurred in May, exactly 7 weeks before his birthday. It was even before Dallin's birthday, which was weird for all of us. But it was really important to Tanner for his dad to be at the party, so doing it early was the only time to squeeze it in before Jeremy began his new job. It was very last minute because when we figured out a time to hold the party, we had 4 days to plan and carry out the gig. Tanner wanted to invite friends that he hadn't done much with recently or whom he had never had a playdate with. The little party was a big success!!
It was a basketball birthday, and Tanner chose all the activities for us to do. We began with a basketball craft that we found online, and it was a big hit: Mini basketball hoops.
The boys decorated their backboards that I pre-cut out of foam poster board. Then we hot-glued them to red drinking cups. With orange ping pongs, each boy had a complete mini basketball game to play with at the party and to take home! Super simple, inexpensive and fun!
Next, we ate dinner. We served Dominos pizza and a basketball veggie stadium! I used hummus, black beans and mini peparoni to make the dip into a basketball court. I bent the veggie trays into the shape of bleachers and piled them with various foods to look like crowded fans. Tanner and Dallin ate more veggies than anyone else, which I was proud of!
The boys talked about basketball and things they like about Tanner while we ate dinner. It was fun to see him play with his classmates in our home that I had heard so much about throughout the school year!
Pizza. Basketball, Birthday. Friends. Tanner was in heaven.
Some of his friends did a little dance for us! It was so adorable!!
Then we played basketball on the court that belongs to our backdoor neighbors, Roger and Sharon. We were so grateful to them for always letting the boys play there, especially during this party! We were also feeling blessed that the weather cooperated. 
Jeremy was the coach. We had red and blue basketball "sweatbands" made out of bandanas for each player to wear so we could tell which team the kids were on. They played 3 on 3 for a little while and it was a pretty close game! Not gonna lie, Tanner was very emotionally invested in the game, which made things a little touch and go to begin with. Jeremy did an amazing job mitigating arguments and preventing meltdowns. Pretty soon, all the boys were fully engaged in playing. It was fun to see how athletic they all were!
Jeremy could see that everyone (except Tanner) was getting tired of playing 3 on 3. So he put together some other basketball games on the fly. He put the kids in a half circle and played fire round shots. Then they played a game of lightning.
Tanner could have played for another hour, but it was time to call everyone in for cake! I ordered a small ice cream cake from Dairy Queen just the day before, which felt so hasty to me. The store actually had a basketball cake topper! With purple and black frosting, it went perfectly with the cake sticks that I made. It was a very simple and succesful Sacramento Kings Basketball cake! Tanner LOVED it.
I love his surprised face!
Just like Dallin's birthday this year, we did a "fiver" party. This is where everyone brings $5 in lieu of gifts, and the money goes towards one big gift for the birthday kid. Parent feedback was very positive because it relieved a lot of stress from families, esp since we could not give much notice for the parties. It was also awesome for us because we did not accumulate a lot of stuff while preparing to move and we were able to get something we knew Tanner would really enjoy. Tanner loved opening all the envelopes/cards. His friends wrote such nice things to him and drew funny pictures.
Then Tanner got to open up the gift that was from everyone. It was an engineering kit to make lots of different machines!! (Dallin helped wrap the gift and he used most of our tissue paper. 😂Naturally, they had to be thrown everywhere! Woohoo!!)
The kiddos played in the basement while they waited for parent pick up. This friend was a champ at the drums!
After all the excitement, I laid on the couch for a rest. You can see my reflection in the balloons.
We had to box up all the fun from the party with the rest of the things we were packing up to move. The next chance we had to think about Tanner turning 8 was in Colorado, a couple days before his actual birthday. We went out to eat pizza, sang to him and he opened some presents from Nana and Papa. 
Then, his actual birthday occurred while we were in Sacramento--the day before the big wedding event. Grandma made a yummy breakfast for him!
That morning we had a fun playdate at the park. Tanner struggled to cope with the fact that he wasn't having a birthday celebration on his actual birthday. (That kind of thinking/attitude is not something he learned from me! It makes me gag when people mope on their birthday). It was a rough morning. Later that day, he was able to cheer up when he went swimming with Jeremy and Dallin, and he had a really great time! He said, "This is the life!!!"😎
Then we went to the church to set up tables and chairs. We bought pizza for everyone so that Tanner could have his favorite meal and so that we could keep working as we ate.
One of our family traditions is to do a SERVICE project on our birthday. Coming up with a birthday service project this year was tricky for Tanner with the move and the traveling. He ended up helping keep the cousins entertained while the grown-ups worked on decorating for the reception. Tanner was a very good babysitter to Hazel, Lucy and Dorothy. He did such a great job that Aunt Melissa tipped him a couple of dollars! We were super proud of our little leader keeping things under control with the little kids for hours! We also got a cute picture of him with baby girl Garrett when her family arrived.
Grandma had a cake for Tanner that we sang and ate over while we were continued setting up for the reception. There were even some gifts for him to open up!! One of them was a special outing to see a pre-season Kings game with Grandpa Z. A few days later, they went to the game in style and had a blast!!
A big life lesson that I hope Tanner learned from all his birthday adventures is that often, things don't go the way we hope or plan, and that's okay. Often, it turns out even better! We had a lot of fun celebrating Tanner in three different states this year. He is such a blessing in our lives! The next thing he had to look forward to was his baptism in September, which I can't wait to post about soon!!
 

Thursday, November 21, 2019

Wedding Time!

We had two big weddings taking place at the end of June!! To be everywhere, we collectively made 9 separate flights to 5 different airports during the course of 11 days. Jeremy took all of his flights separately from the rest of us so that he could be at work in between each wedding event. I'm not sure if readers can keep up with this post, but we'll see!!
At the San Diego airport, I geared up for our flight to Denver to drop off the boys on my way to Minnesota. Flight was delayed due to rain. Then while in flight we got rerouted to Colorado Springs. This brought our total number of delayed flights in the last 6 months to TWELVE. For added excitement, Dallin wet his pants on the flight! When we landed, it took a couple hours for us to get word from the airline that it would not take us to Denver that same day. I had missed my flight out to Minneapolis. It was a really rough day.
We took an uber half way to Denver so that my Dad could pick us up. He drove for 8+ hours that day due to all the confusion with our flight. The uber driver helped us keep things in perspective. "I always say, if it won't matter two years from now, then don't get worked up about it." And so I spent the rest of the ride trying to determine if this would matter two years from now, because I had some pretty good arguments saying that it might. The mountains and prairies were extra green during our drive, which was a needed and beautiful distraction.
The boys stayed with my parents in Colorado while I continued on to Minnesota for the Brolsma Wedding!!! Being back in Austin was a little weird. We got to tidy up some more of our house and grab things that were left behind. We stayed in Lori and Brent's home, we are very grateful to them for that!! 

Friday afternoon and evening we were busy getting ready for the wedding!! We were honored to be so involved. Jeremy was an usher and I was the wedding hostess. During the reception, we both provided the main entertainment by being Bob Barker and Barker's Beauty for a "game show" called The Kiss is Right!
Wedding Rehearsal
Rehersal Dinner was really fun. Caden waved hello to Tanner and Dallin and was sad they weren't there. We were also a little bummed that the boys weren't there with us, but we knew it was better for them to be with the grandparents since Jeremy and I had so much to take care of during these two days. It was really nice to focus 100% of our attention on Riley and Kristin and Caden.
Riley gave some neat gifts to all his groomsmen and ushers. Jeremy's was on back order, so he got a note and picture as a place holder. It was a really cool gift!
On wedding day, I was lucky to sneak in an early morning hot chocolate date with Lacey!! Jeremy helped set up chairs and tables for the outdoor ceremony.
Then I got all geared up for the wedding. I set out programs and rose petals and helped the wedding party get lunch and get ready. I got to have a walkie talky because the grounds for the wedding and reception were so huge. I felt very official!
Jeremy was fully decked out in a tuxedo and fancy shoes! My dress was from amazon and worked in the color pallet for both weddings. I did my own hair and makeup, and my natural grey highlights sparkled perfectly with the dress!
The ceremony was beautiful and the reception was a BLAST! 
This is Jeremy getting geared up for his Bob Barker gig. We had a great time making the audience laugh. Major highlight was when one of the guests made a hole in one bean bag toss from over 15 feet from the target, with his back turned, while walking away. The entire place erupted with cheers and disbelief!
Jeremy and I did a lot of dancing and eating and chatting!!! It was wonderful to see friends that I love so dearly!!
We just can't say enough good about this beautiful bride and groom. Here is what I posted on facebook about their wedding:
I had the honor of being the wedding hostess, and Jeremy Zavoral had the honor of being an usher at the wedding of our dear friends, Riley Brolsma and Kristin Brolsma!! What an amazing day filled with a gorgeous outdoor ceremony, social hour, dinner, entertainment from a Bob Barker host and his Beauty for the "Kiss is Right" (some say Bob and his beauty looked exactly like Jeremy and me 😘), lots of dancing, and a full firework show.
You can imagine the months and months of work this took, especially since Riley and Kristin were their own wedding planners. But even in their 11th hour of preparations, they were right by our side two weeks ago in our 11th hour of moving, taking hours of their days to help us get to San Diego on time. Kristin and Riley set the standard high for friends that are loyal and true, through and through. I had so much fun helping execute the details of their unforgettable day!!
Riley and Kristin have become very close friends over the years and have stood by us during our best and worst times. We are so sad that we won't be living near them while they are married! Hopefully all the marriage prep classes we went to with them will give them good luck! We are so happy for you, Mr. and Mrs. Brolsma!! 
The next morning, Jeremy flew back to San Diego to do a week of work. I flew to Colorado to join the boys on the grandparents' farm. We had a great time! 
The boys told me all about their weekend adventures with Grandma and Grandpa. I was surprised they did so much in just 2.5 days. They played golf in the back yard, rode bikes, went to Niwot park, worked and played in the treehouse, hot tubbing, movie night, billiard balls, story times, and more!
Thanks Grandpa Papa and Grandma Nana for keeping the boys entertained during one of the weddings!!
On my first night back, Dallin joined me in the middle of the night and I just couldn't get over how beautiful he is. 
Stacy came over to play with her two kids. Our boys played really well together!
I went for a walk on the prairie.
I found these three kids playing soliders out by the huge cottonwood tree. We tried fishing for crawdads, but didn't have any luck this time.
We went to a cool park to play with Stacy and her kiddos again!
And then enjoyed lunch at Chic-fil-a!
Uncle Lyman came over for a visit. Dallin read to Lyman. Then Lyman read to Dallin, and Dallin loved it!!
(Note- we were not able to see Grandma Robertson during this trip.)
Before we knew it, we were off to Sacramento for Matt and Johanna's wedding reception. We met up with Callie and Brian Hill, who were in town for a family reunion. We had a quick play time with them at this cool park. Their extended family came as well as Melissa and her kids.
Tanner was a major party pooper during our play date. He was upset because he didn't want to be traveling on his birthday and thought it was dumb to go to this park on his birthday. We talked a lot about his birthday before the trip. (I'm talking hours and hours about it for days and days). I taught him how much it disgusts me when people complain on their birthdays. We worked through a lot of his emotions and agreed that to solve most of his worries/anxieties, we could host him a last minute birthday party in MN with a few friends before we moved (which was very succesful and more details will come in a future post). So when Tanner still had meltdowns on his actual birthday amidst our attempts to celebrate Matt and Johanna, it was nothing short of a huge dissapointment to me. A part of me believes he could have chosen to be happy. And another part of me believes he isn't mature enough to regulate his emotions very well. It's very hard to know how to make my expectations realistic for a kid like Tanner. Even his therapists have been stumped on ocassion. Smart and mature in so many ways, but so delayed in the simplest social-emotional concepts. I had to grit my teeth a lot that day to keep my mouth from flying off the handle, and I tried to only roll my eyes when no one was looking!!
Dallin loved following baby cousin Dot (16 months old) around the playground. Very challenging amid Tanner's balling, but Dallin did a really good job tuning out the negativity.
Dotty cuddled with me on the floor at grandma Z's house and she fell asleep for a little bit on my chest.
Katie's family arrived. Which meant that I got to snuggle with baby Amelia! She slept in my arms a couple times. (4 months old)
 The boys like meeting Millie, too.
Jeremy arrived after Friday afternoon and immediately played in the pool with the boys. His presence helped Tanner find his normal happy self again. He and Dallin loved relaxing on their floaties saying, "This is the life! This. is. the. liiiife!" What a fun memory!
 
Matt and Johanna were married in the Las Vegas temple a week earlier. Even though they already had a fancy reception, Grandma Z went all out for their open house/wedding reception in Sacramento.  The theme was Cinderella. Jeremy and I helped as much as we could. My biggest contributions were decorating the water station, making the welcome plaque for the welcome table, helping with the cake trellis, cutting fruit and watching the kids while other people decorated. Jeremy helped with the ceiling and heavy items. He also was a main contributor to setting up the table centerpieces.
The food and cakes were amazing.
We are so excited for Matt and Johanna. It's wierd that the youngest brother is now hitched!! The coolest thing about them getting married is that they are going to live in Huntington Beach. Yep, we lived there as newlyweds, too. In fact, JoMatta are living in the exact same apartment complex that we used to live it. It was all a hilarious coincidence. We are so excited to live close to each other!!
 
After Matt did a glass slipper fitting to find his bride, Johanna sang a solo. The family danced for a little bit, too! Tanner was shy at first and then went crazy flossing up a storm!
 Dorothy tried to get Dallin to dance with her, but he was too tired.
 Aunt Linda had fun watching us all dance.
 Sunday afternoon on the back porch!
 And then on the front lawn!
Hugs for Aunt Linda
 Playing games with cousin Aaron and Grandpa Davidson.
 Tanner got to go on a special ride in Grandpa Z's car.
 They enjoyed an off-season King's game as part of a birthday present for Tanner. He was so excited when he opened up the envelope of game tickets that he cried big crocodile tears of joy! It was a really sweet moment. 
Grandma had a funny looking board game that the kids loved.
Stories with grandma.
On Monday, we went to the Jelly Belly Factory! 
Dallin enjoyed the factory. Both boys were intrigued by all the machines. But Tanner was very disappointed that there was a not an actual tour guide giving information and answering questions. He thought the whole thing was lame. I tried several tactics to get us through the tour without him exploding. The Aunties and Grandma also tried to keep him engaged. 
His moping got worse in the gift shop, "This is the stupidest thing I've ever done. Why did we have to come here. I hate the smells here. I wish this place never existed. You couldn't even hear the Tv's because it was so noisy. They said it wouldn't be noisy, but it was! Can we blow this place up?!" So I sent him to take a break. I don't know if it helped, but at least he got to be outside away from the things that seemed to be overstimulating him. I point out these low moments to show the reality of his struggles (and mine!) and to help me look back and find patterns to Tanner's low moments. The hardest part of it all is to not let his struggles bring me to the same low places. 
We had lunch at McDonald's and let the kids play for an extra long time in the play place. It was Melissa's kiddos and my kiddos, and we had the place to ourselves for most of the time. I don't know if it was the ice cream or the fact that there was less noise and smells, but Tanner eventually snapped out of his low mood and was his happy self leading his cousins in games on the play place. All 5 of them had so much fun together and my heart was relieved and happy.
We ate at Cafe Rio for dinner that evening. Look how cute Millie and I are with our headpieces!!
On Tuesday, the boys swam with Hazel in the pool. We actually got to have lots of fun with the Hoof girls throughout the weekend, which was a neat highlight!
We also made friends with the neighbors and swam in their pool! Well, it turned out that Tanner and the younger kids were jumping on the trampoline and yelling mean things to the neighbors. So we made our kids apologize by writing letters and bringing them cookies. It was really hard for the kids to do it, but they apologized. And that's when the neighbors invited us over! They were so kind to us and helped teach my kids a valuable lesson of forgiveness!
Before we knew it, we were back on a plane, and back in San Diego. All the wedding stuff was over as quickly as it began!!
 Jermey didn't waste any time taking the boys to a game. I got some more boxes unpacked while they were gone.
 The boys got to play baseball on the kid field behind the stands.
And that wrapped up our two week wedding saga!!