Company!

 We did a Valentine's Babysitting swap with our friends, the Bendheims. They watched Tanner on a Saturday while we celebrated Valentines by eating at Cafe Rio and going to a comedy improv show in Irvine. Then, we watched their little guy on Monday while they went out.  

 The boys played ball, cars, trucks, more ball, puzzles and read books. It was really fun to watch them play together because they are only two months apart, so they are learning and doing lots of the same things. Tanner was really good about sharing all his balls, except the best one. He kept that tight in his arm the whole time!

For President's Weekend, my parents came to visit us! Tanner had a super fun time playing with his Papa and Nana.

 Jeremy and DadR went golfing Sat morning. MomR and I took Tanner to the beach. He wanted to jump off the huge steps by himself, but we had to help him. Once he got to the sand, he was enthralled by the guys playing volleyball. Then, he started walking around asking "Oh, no! Huh Dada? Huh Dada?" He was looking for Jeremy on the sand because the previous two times we had been at the beach, we went to meet Jeremy exercising with some friends from work. He expected to find Jeremy again, and was NOT happy that we were leaving without him!

 Here's me pregnant at 26 weeks! Mom and I went to the spa later that day and it was soooo nice to get a back massage. I also got my first ever professional pedicure! My pregnancy is going really well. Up until about 21 weeks, I often forgot that I was pregnant (mostly because of being so busy with work), but lately I am feeling much more pregnant. My ankles are starting to swell if I don't drink enough water, and I'm getting heart burn if I eat too much at one time (which is hard not to do because my appetite is huge!) I feel a lot slower this time around than I remember being with Tanner. So I just have to pace myself a little better. One thing I'm looking forward to with this birth is doing hypno-birthing! We should start our classes in the next week or two!!

Work

(Me with my Tan Man after a busy day of work)

So to be honest, the past month or so has been extremely difficult for me, mostly because of all the stresses with work. I directed a show in late January, and that was exhausting both physically and emotionally (being prego slows you down a bit!). It took me about 5 days to physically recover from the show. The hardest part was going a whole week of just seeing Tanner 1 or 2 hours during the day, and 2 days in a row without spending any quality time with him at all.

(Tanner waiting for Daddy to come home)

Directing shows is a big part of my job because the school wants me to do a separate performance for every grade level. I love doing the shows, but sometimes I wish that I could just focus more on actually teaching music instead of being a production manager. The shows are a pretty big deal and take a LOT of work - even for someone who is physically normal.

(Our home suffers from both of us working. I guess Tanner is getting sick of dirty laundry, too, because he has become very interested in picking clothes off the floor, shaking them out, and strategically putting them in a new place in the room).

Our plan has been that once baby #2 comes along, I will stay home full time for several years. Two main reasons influenced this decision. 1- I want to be with my children. 2- I won't make any money if I keep working. We figured out that with my current salary, after daycare costs, tithing, taxes, and gas fees for my commute it does not leave much left as a profit. It's just not worth it!

So that means that this is my last year teaching at this school and teaching in general for awhile. I thought I would be more sad about it, but I'm actually looking forward to it. I've been learning that God has His way of preparing you for what He wants you to do. And plus, the timing worked out so perfectly that I accomplished one of my goals- to teach full time at least one year longer than it took me to get my teaching degree. It took me 5 years to get my double major and I have been able to teach for 6 years straight since I got my degree. I did it!! Plus, this doesn't mean that I will never go back to teaching. If all goes well, I plan to get my Masters in Education, do more research in education, teach more and prepare for one of my biggest dreams- to open my own school.

 (Tanner attempting to play with his toy airplane after "doing" our laundry)

But I digress... back to being stressed. I have 5 more different shows to direct before my due date (May 15). One of the shows is actually the day before my due date. The administrators and I are trying to figure out how it will all work out.

 (These are Tanner's photo jobs!)

I've been learning a lot about myself and about life by going through this all- not just in the last month but basically ever since I've been a working mom. The good news is that when I turn to the Lord, things are always better. I got a blessing from our home teachers (Jeremy was out of town), and that helped a lot. Jeremy made a CD of audio scriptures for me to listen to during my commute and that has made a big difference, too. Also, when I'm feeling really down, I am singing more hymns or folk songs to myself  that I know will make me happy. And I've been trying to not focus on all the time I am missing with Tanner, just trying to make the most of the few hours of quality time I have with him each day.

Trip to the Desert

For MLKDay, we decided last minute to go on a little overnight trip. Sunday night, we drove to Palm Desert (just 2 hours away) and stayed in a nice hotel. We played in the hot tub, ate lots of snacks, watched TV and played Dominion! The next morning, we ate the continental breakfast, which was the best ever. You ordered your food at the bar and the cook made whatever you wanted- eggs, pancakes, sausage. Tanner was a wonderful little guest in the hotel. He loved exploring all the drawers and cupboards, organizing all the towels and pillows and emptying all the tissues and toilet papers. Best part- we didn't have to clean it up.

 After breakfast, we went to Palm Springs to ride the special tram up San Jacinto Mtn. That was way more interesting than I anticipated. The tram rotates while you stand in it so you get a 360 degree view of everything. And it was a long ride- 10 minutes!

As soon as we got to the top and walked outside, Tanner started saying "snow!" (okay it was more like hhnow!) We had never taught him this word, so we were pretty surprised. He was definitely pointing at snow and was really excited about it. The only thing I can figure is that he learned it from Baby Einstein. He had been watching the one about seasons recently.

 It was a gorgeous day in the mountains. The snow was pretty icy, so we sat Tanner on a little slope and he slid down on his bum. He loved it! So we did that for a little while.

 When he touched the snow the first time he said "Hot" (but it really sounds like "hos, hos").

 We explored the lodge and visitors center. Then headed back down the mountain to go play in the sand. "San! San!" was the word of the afternoon. 

 We spent the late afternoon and sunset at Joshua Tree National Park. It was like being on a different planet. Kind of like a world made by Dr. Seuss. Apparently, Dr Seuss got inspiration from this area when he wrote about the Lorax tree! We really enjoyed the atmosphere and wish we had more time to explore the area.

For dinner, we ate at a yummy Mexican restaurant. The highlight was the mariachi singer that serenaded us all night long. After that, we drove home and got in bed before 11:00 pm. It was the perfect family trip to take our minds off of the stresses of work and school. 

Random pics from January

Here I am at 21 weeks pregnant (this was the beginning of January). We found out we're having another boy!! We are super excited.

Before Jeremy started this semester of school, he got to spend lots of time with Tanner.

Tanner now understands how sidewalk chalk works (meaning he now is interested in drawing with it instead of eating it). He likes drawing on the sidewalk, the bushes, the house, garbage cans, bikes, clothes, you name it. On Saturdays, Jeremy and I take turns distracting Tanner while the other person cleans the house. This kept him busy for almost 30 minutes.

That night, it got a little chilly, so we put on a fire. Tanner says "fie-ya!"

Solutions for Santa

This post is a continuation of the previous one. Also for ADULTS ONLY. Parental discretion is advised.

Okay, so we think we figured out how to do Santa in our home so that our children know from Day 1 that Christmas is about Christ's birth, Santa is not real, we keep them from telling all their friends and cousins, and we still have fun as a family with imagination, traditions, etc.

First, we teach our kids about the Lord's birth all the time during the holiday (and throughout the year, too). We act out stuff, we read the scriptures, we draw pictures, we read kid stories. We also make it a point to talk about all the amazing miracles that happened to people during Christ's conception, birth and afterwards- both in the Bible and Book of Mormon. We make it magical because it IS magical! We get our children to imagine what they would do if they were Joseph or Mary or a shepherd or sheep. We get them to imagine what it would have been like to hear about his birth or see the new star and bright lights in the sky. Etc. etc. And most of all, we make sure they know that this REALLY happened and that Christ is REAL. I tried really hard to do this with Tanner the past two years. It was fun to find books and pictures of Jesus' birth, and to help Tanner recognize the baby Jesus. He would say "Jesus" and "sheep" when he saw the nativity scenes.

Second, we teach about who St. Nicholas was. In case you don't know, he was a saint in Europe that gave to the poor. I think he also had a sleigh. But I can check my facts again next year. The point is: we teach that he was a real person, but just a person like you or me. He understood the importance of Christian love and helping those around him. Then we teach that people loved St. Nicholas and the example that he set. So now, in his honor, we pretend that he still comes every Christmas to children's houses. Now we call him Santa Clause, and some people think it's fun to pretend that he lives at the North Pole with reindeer and that he flies. But we know that's not true. It's just a fun thing to make believe. Then we teach our kids that in our home, we know that St Nicholas would want us to focus on Christ and helping others. We will still read stories and sing songs about Santa, but we know that he is pretend, just like the Disney princesses or the characters on YoGabaGaba or the Grinch or the Nutcracker and Sugar Plum Fairy. Already this year and last, we have done this with Tanner. He doesn't understand any of it, but at least I'm getting some practice of actually saying it to him!

Third, we teach that some families like to really believe that Santa comes to their house. Some children think that he is real. But some day they'll learn that their parents were the ones that put the presents in their stockings. We're not supposed to tell the kids this because if we do, the parents will get really mad at you and get you in trouble. Their feelings will get hurt and we don't want to hurt their feelings. If my child asks me, "Why don't they tell their kids the truth about Santa?" To this I would WANT to say "Because they think it's fun to lie to their children." But I think I would ACTUALLY say "I'm not sure why. But I believe it's important that you know the truth."

As far as presents go, our kids will get one nice present from us on Christmas morning. If you think about it, this is nice for us because we'll be the ones to get the credit for giving them what they want for Christmas, not Santa.

For stockings, this year and last, we filled Tanner's stocking with candy and things that he really needed like socks and pacifiers. We told him they were from us. But in the future, I want to do 2 things related to stockings: 1) have me, Jeremy and the kids draw names and then be secretly  in charge of filling that person's stocking. The gift we put in the stocking has to be homemade and it has to be meaningful and maybe give a clue of who we are. Then Christmas morning, we all guess who filled our stocking!! I know any child would be really excited about this and so anxious to see what they will get and what their siblings will say when they see the present that they give. And this kind of tradition will never die because it's not based on a false person. 2) the wise men will come to our house on Jan 6 during the night to fill our shoes. This is a Mexican tradition, and I like how it reminds us that the wise men did not come on Christmas Eve or Day. They came many weeks, months, perhaps even years later. And yes, my children will know that the wise men are not actually the people filling their shoes.

Also, a big focus on presents will be about what the child is giving to others, not about what they want to get. I think it would be nice to have my kids spend one evening writing down what they want for Christmas, and then the rest of the holiday, we have no more discussion about it. Instead, we discuss "what do you think you will give your sister, your auntie, your grandma?" and things like "who in our neighborhood could we do something nice for? Is there a family at church that could use some extra help this time of year?" and "this year, should we help at a soup kitchen or volunteer at the library"? My parents and Jeremy's parents do stuff like this as part of their holiday traditions, and it's one of the few things we keep doing each year even though we all know Santa isn't real.

So I figure, let's make an even bigger deal about this! Basically, we will do our best to make the conversations and daily activities focused on what we can do for others, not about what we ourselves want. I think that as we do this over the years, traditions of service will naturally be created. We might decide that every year we spend an evening making jam or cookies for the bishop, or that every year we leave a box of goodies for the widows in our congregation, or multiple things like this. It will have to be organic though, based on activities that Jeremy, me and the kids come up with together and find that we really enjoy.

For other traditions, I would like to carol every year throughout the neighborhood and to friends' homes as a family. Both my parents and Jeremy's parents did this with us growing up, and I love it! And when our home is big enough, I want to try having a wassailing party, where friends get together and we just spend hours singing our favorite Christmas songs around the piano while drinking wassail or cider.

While living here in HB, it's become tradition to see the boat parade in the Newport Harbor every year. So something like watching lights each year would be important to me. Christmas lights are a symbol of Christ's light coming to the world, so that would be the focus of seeing the lights.

I also think it would be awesome to go to a candlelight mass at a catholic church. I've done it before. It's a beautiful environment and would teach my children about finding common ground with friends in other religions.

Oh, I would also like to take my children to the Nutcracker ballet every year if we can afford it. My mom took us girls every year until I left for college. There is so much magic in that ballet! By the way, the fact that kids know that the Nutcracker isn't real but they still love the story and they still love the music goes to show that kids can know Santa isn't real and still be excited about Christmas.

Will we visit Santa at the mall? I'm not sure yet. I definitely won't make it a big deal by any means. I guess if my kids request to see him, I'll ask them why and remind them that Santa is not real, but we can pretend he is when we see him- just like we pretend that I'm a real princess when we play dress-ups. Maybe I could get my kids to prepare a little song for him and to tell Santa some things they are doing for others for Christmas. Maybe we could write him a note and thank him for sitting long hours to talk to greedy children and cranky parents all day long. I think Santa would be really surprised and cheered up by that!

I recognize that a lot of these ideas sound corny, unrealistic and maybe even a little self-righteous. I will have to be really careful to not offend others when we involve them in our traditions and to truly make the focus on Christ a genuine one. Definitely, each year Jeremy and I will need to turn to the Lord with how to be sensitive to others who want to make Santa an important part of their traditions. I hope that in turn, others will be respectful to us with how we celebrate the holiday.

It's All About Santa!

This post is for ADULTS ONLY (kids need parental permission to read this). And it is not intended to offend anyone. These are just my thoughts and feelings of how I view Christmas and Santa, so if you become offended, that’s your own fault.

As a little girl, I was a faithful believer in Santa Clause. I wrote him letters, made him cookies, and sang odes to him all year long. One year, my sister and I got his signature when he came to our house during the night. Every year, I prayed for him and I probably even prayed to him. And why wouldn’t I? He sees me all the time- just like God. He knows when I am doing what’s right- just like God. So it seemed natural to talk and beg him for things I wanted- just like I did with God.

It’s important to note that I faithfully believed in God, too. I knew that Christmas was Jesus’ birthday and we wouldn’t have the holiday without Him. But I also knew that Santa was real. And no matter how you shave the ice, no matter how much Mom and Dad tried to put an emphasis on the “reason for the season,” when it came down to what was really important on Christmas morning- to me it was all about what Santa brought us.

I didn’t fully realize how much I believed in Santa until much later in life. I’ve been able to have several “counseling” talks with Jeremy to help me sort out all of my emotions.  

As a child, it took me a long time to face the truth about Santa- probably because I wanted to keep believing so badly. I ignored the boxes in the garage that had pictures of the gifts Santa brought. I turned a blind eye when Santa put his glass in the sink. I came up with all kinds of explanations as to why Santa looked different at every mall.

Finally, on Christmas Eve when I was 12 years old, I heard dad drilling something late at night. I wanted to go see what was going on, even though my older sister Desha urged me to stay in bed. I snuck down the stairs to find my dad drilling together a toy slide. The dread crept in. Could this be proof that Santa isn't real? I ran back upstairs and tried to erase what I saw. The next morning, sure enough, Mom and Dad claimed that the slide was from Santa Clause. I felt the world cave in on me. Everything I knew was true actually wasn't. I remember feeling darkness around me and feeling a heavy weight on my heart. I was crushed. Even worse than knowing Santa was nothing more than a joke was realizing that my parents, and all the grown-ups I had trusted, had actually lied to me, year after year. Even all four of my grandparents lied to me when I asked them for the truth about Santa. I just couldn't understand. The sense of betrayal consumed me. 

During the next few Christmases, I really struggled. I knew Tanya believed, so I could play along. But I also knew that it was all a lie, and it felt weird helping someone believe in something that wasn’t real. Then, when Tanya knew the truth (at like age 5, and no I didn’t tell her!), there was seemingly no point to Christmas anymore. Desha was now gone to college, everyone knew Santa was a fake, and so lots of the traditions that we had done in the past were pointless. What was the point of waiting until Christmas morning to open presents? So we actually stopped that tradition. Christmas since has never been the same for me, and every year when the holiday comes, I cringe. In many ways, it is a time of year that reminds me how a big part of my childhood died. Needless to say, I became bitter towards anything involving Santa at Christmastime.

But that wasn’t the only effect that the truth had on me. It did not take my adolescent mind long to start questioning the reality of God. If everyone- literally EVERYONE- had lied to me about Santa, how was I supposed to know if they were lying about God, too? And it’s not like you could ask people and trust their answer. They all lied to me about Santa, so surely they could be lying about God. It took months of soul searching, prayer and faith for me to gain and confirm my testimony, and luckily the one person I could count on to tell me the truth was the Holy Ghost. He witnessed to me that God is real and that I am His daughter, and I’ve remained true to that testimony ever since.

So now, as a parent, the big question is: How will I handle Santa with my own children? Maybe I want them to experience the same wonderment and magical belief that I had for so many years. But then that means that they would also experience the same disappointment, deceit, even trauma that I experienced. Do I want to risk the chance of jeopardizing their faith in God because I lied to them about Santa?  Do I think it’s even moral to lie to my own child- even if they are just 3, 4, and 5 years old?

For me, the answer is pretty simple. I want my children to know that I will be truthful to them about all things. I want them to grow up knowing that Mom will tell them straight up anything they want to know- that I can be trusted with anything they bring me. So in order to build and keep that trust, it is my parental duty (and my childhood duty, for that matter) to make sure they don’t get duped into believing in something that is wrong and false. I will tell them the truth-- not just when they are old enough to ask. They need to know the truth from Day 1.

Now, I know what you are thinking. “SarahLynn, that takes all the fun out Christmas for them!” My reply to this is simple: If removing the belief of Santa- a fake person who not even 100 years ago had anything to do with Christmas- really does take the fun out of Christmas, then maybe we need to rethink how we celebrate the holiday. Quite simply stated, once Santa was not real for me, all the fun WAS taken out of Christmas. As I mentioned earlier, the holiday became pointless to me. So I have spent many years trying to figure out how I can infuse love, laughter, wonderment, and joy into a holiday that should --in all frankness- have nothing to do with Santa anyway.

You’re probably thinking, “SarahLynn, Santa should be a part of Christmas! He symbolizes everything that Christmas is about- love and gift giving. He even wears red, which is a symbol of Christ’s blood that was shed for us. Santa is the epitome of Christmas!” And to that, I could not disagree with you more. Each year, I see more and more that Santa is basically Satan’s way of driving us away from remembering the Saviour’s birth, not closer to it. I really believe that the devil has taken one little truth- “Santa is a symbol of Christ’s love”- to hide an entire mountain of lies. Among those lies include these messages that are quietly taught to our children with the modern traditions of Santa:

·         To hope and have faith means that you hope that Santa brings you what you want.

·         Santa can bring you blessings that are better than what God can bring you.

·         Christmas is about what you get (and how better do we teach this than by asking our own nieces and nephews “what did you get for xmas?” and “what did Santa bring you”).

·         Christmas is something you buy.

·         God is not the only Father that cares about you. Afterall, “Father” Christmas loves you, knows you by name, and watches over you day and night, too.

·         Jesus’ birth is boring. Maybe if Santa brought him on his flying sleigh and put him in Mary’s stocking, it would be a better story.

·         God is not that powerful. He doesn’t have flying reindeer and he can’t go to every child’s house in one night. (and this thought did actually cross my mind as a child).

·         Happiness is getting what you want.

Especially this year, I have noticed how Santa is more of an anti-Christ than anything. It is so interesting to me how parents are willing to let teachers do holiday activities about Santa. They embrace anything that is related to Santa. Even the Muslims and Hindu and atheist parents have Santa come to their homes on Christmas Eve. But the moment something about Jesus is mentioned at school, all hearts stop. The parents mob the principal’s office and your whole career is in question. Why is this? Why is it so offensive for people to hear or talk about Jesus at Christmastime? Maybe it’s because they are afraid of his reality?

I hate how it’s easier for people to love and cherish a fake person than it is for people to even just recognize someone that is real. I HATE how teachers, parents, church leaders, the media, and even news reporters will go great lengths to make sure that the truth about Santa isn’t ever spoken of in public, yet we try teaching our children the importance of honesty and trustworthiness. Can’t anyone else see the moral conflicts here!? When you look at this way, it’s easy to see that Satan has become extremely successful with driving people away from the Savior at Christmastime.

So then, we come back to these questions: As a parent, how do I handle Santa and Christmas? How do I tell my children the truth from Day 1 without them spilling the beans to all their friends? How do I successfully infuse love, laughter, wonderment, and joy into Christmas while focusing on Christ? This year, I think Jeremy and I figured it out, or at least came closer to figuring it out. This post is getting really long, so Stay Tuned to my next post for our solutions…

More Fun in Sacramento

We got a chance to spend a few hours with Jeremy's high school/church friends Ian and April. They married each other and have two darling kids. We played together at a new park in Jeremy's neighborhood that we didn't know about.

It was fun playing with Tanner at the park. I realized that I hadn't been to a park with him in months. That's one of the things that sucks about being a working mom.

 This is when we discovered that Tanner can hang on things. He's probably been able to do this for a while.

These little guys are just 1 month apart.

Also during our visit in Sacramento, we met up with my Auntie Lorna and my twin cousins. (Fun fact- I have twin cousins, Jeremy has twin cousins and Tanner has twin cousins- three different families with twins!) We met up in Stocktown, had lunch in a hole-in-the-wall Mexican joint, and then took Tanner to the Stocktown Children's Museum. We were pleasantly surprised at how cool the museum was!

 Here's Tanner's masterpiece. He painted it portrait style and we took a picture of it landscape style.

He also did some body painting.

And then later rubbed his nose with the finger that still had paint on it, making a red mustache!

 Water works station. Good thing I brought Tanner a change of clothes!

 Great Auntie Lorna

 Tanner loved it and got super worn out. He zonked out before we pulled out of the parking lot. We all had a lot of fun!