The Long Awaited "Announcement"

That's right....

WE'RE PREGNANT!!!

I am almost 15 weeks along, and the baby is due around June 26. We've been trying to get pregnant for 3 years now, so we are VERY excited.

(Clearest ultrasound we have. 11 weeks. Round object on top is the head. Two dark circles in head are the two hemispheres of the brain. White marks are the cheekbones and jawline. You can also make out profile of eyes and nose. Possibly hand at mouth, getting ready to suck finger!)

Since many of you or your friends have experienced infertility, I'll tell our story. Otherwise, you can stop reading here and just scroll through the pictures. This is a really long post, mostly for me and posterity's sake, so don't feel obligated to read.

Accepting Infertility

Even before we went off birth control, I had a feeling that I would have some fertility issues. So I made a personal commitment, of which I kept, to never get depressed about our infertility. Every time that we prayed or fasted about getting pregnant, we always felt that there was no need to worry, everything was in the Lord's hands and timing. So we remained very patient (although the same can't be said for our parents, haha.) And even though it seemed like ALL of our friends were having their first and second and even third babies without us, we weren't in any super rush to get pregnant.

I guess you can say my teaching job helped keep me from getting too worried about it, as evil as some may think that sounds. But truly, I can't imagine getting pregnant any sooner than now. I know from many personal witnesses that the Lord has guided me in my career and I have specific missions on earth to fulfill with teaching other children. So I know that there are many divine reasons why we have not become pregnant until now.

Getting Help

After about 1 1/2 years, I got this awesome book called Taking Control of Your Fertility. And I learned so much about my body and I learned to chart my cycles. Then, this past summer we felt it was time to get some professional help (by this point it was more than 2 1/2 years of trying). We got tested and to my surprise, everything came out normal.

Right before one of the tests (called the HSG), I asked Jeremy to give me a blessing because the procedure involved shooting die up into my uterus. In the blessing, I was told that Heavenly Father was aware of our desires and this procedure was the right thing to do in going forward.

This test also came out normal, so we weren't really sure what to do. We basically had "unexplained infertility." There were several options like clomid, in vitro, or adoption, but school started before we got a chance to sit down with our doctor to discuss them. The only thing I knew was that I personally did not want to give myself shots in order to get pregnant.

An Unexpected Discovery

Shortly after the HSG procedure, I had my first normal cycle. This was the first time in years! I started thinking that maybe I wasn't charting my cycles correctly and I probably ovulate every few months. But the next cycle seemed back to my usual 38-42 day length. This took us to the end of October, where I was on day 44, still no period. I remember telling Jeremy, "I don't know what my body is up to! I guess the normal cycle was just a fluke. I'm obviously very infertile." Day 45, day 46 and still no period!

Finally Jeremy suggested we take a pregnancy test. I didn't really want to since I knew it would just say no again. Plus, what if it was positive? Then our whole lives would change! Was I ready for it? Of course I was, we obviously have wanted this for a long time. But was I really ready!?!

(ultrasound at 7 weeks)

The test came out positive. But it was a really faint line. So we waited until the next day to take another test. It came out positive again! Still in partial disbelief, we called our fertility doctor. He asked me the day of my last period and figured I must be 7 weeks pregnant! He ordered-literally ordered- me into his office the next day. Sure enough, there was our little pinto bean baby! We were 7 weeks, and 1 day pregnant!

Making Sense of it All

We started rewinding our lives to figure out when the baby was conceived. Now it made sense why I was craving comfort foods like mac&cheese, PB&J, hot dogs and even spaghetti O's, of which I hadn't eaten since I was 6 years old! And now I knew why I was SO exhausted at work all the time and emotionally unlike myself.

Also, it was pretty obvious that the HSG procedure is what allowed me to get pregnant. Actually, it is quite common for women to conceive 2-3 months after this procedure. So we knew from the priesthood blessing that God's hands were in this entire process.

So our fertility doctor tracked us every week to make sure things "stuck." Even though we had to be at his office at 6:30 AM every Monday morning, it was worth it because we got to see 6 consecutive weeks of ultrasounds! We heard the heart beat at 11 weeks and graduated from the fertility clinic at 12 weeks.

(ultrasound at 10 weeks)

Now that I am in my second trimester, I feel a lot better. No more feeling nauseous at lunchtime everyday. Now we have an OB, but are looking for a good midwife and birth center/hospital that we feel will support a natural birth. As Jeremy puts it, I want to go "hippie" style with our birth.

(Green top: 10 weeks

Red top: 12 weeks)

This experience has taught (or re-taught) me a few important things:

1) When we do what's right and trust in God's timing and wisdom, He will not let us down. He can't because He has promised us that He won't, and God cannot lie.

2) God has his own timeline and plan for each family and each couple. It is not our place to compare or judge.

3) Heavenly Father understands our individual needs perfectly. He knew that Jeremy and I needed to grow in certain ways (personally and as a couple) before becoming parents.

4) Love for your spouse grows stronger through challenging times. Many times Jeremy and I would ask each other, "If we can't get pregnant because of me, will you still love me? Will you feel cheated in this marriage if I can't bear you a child?" And every time we would answer the other with true love and compassion, "I will always love you, no matter what! I married you because of who you are, and whether or not you're fertile won't change that."

5) There are a lot of righteous women in the Bible who could not get pregnant. What great examples they are of having faith in the Lord and enduring to the end!

6) Being married without kids is a precious, precious time. We are so blessed to have had so much fun together as a couple. We will be married for almost 5 years when the baby is born. This is a special gift of time for us that we have never taken lightly. Now that a baby is on the way, we are starting to wonder where all the time went!!

7) Adoption is an amazing thing. If we didn't get pregnant by the New Year, we would have started to enroll in adoption agencies. And we still plan on adopting children in the future.

8) Our bodies are amazing, and conceiving a child is truly a miracle! No matter what this pregnancy brings (as we are still aware of the possibility of miscarriage) we are grateful that we have had the opportunity to conceive a child! No matter what happens, because of temple blessings, this baby will always be ours!!