January Photo Journal

We started out the month by rock climbing at the Albert Lea Community Education Center with friends from church. 

It was so fun, especially because several of the kids had never done it before, including Jeremy! He and I climbed twice. Tanner and Dallin enjoyed jumping into the foam mats. They also played with basketballs for a really long time the huge gym.

 Here's all the girls that came from our youth group!

 We are tough women!

Below is a picture that I took from my bedroom one day. These are called "sun dogs." It's a cool phenomenon where it looks like there are three sunshines in the sky. It only happens when the sun is near the horizon and there is enough water particles in the atmosphere. Tanner describes it by saying, "The big sun made the little suns, and that's why it looks like the sky is on fire."

Big News! As of December, Jeremy was promoted to a new job position at Hormel. Instead of marketing for Skippy he is now marketing for canned chicken. It's kind of a demotion on the coolness factor, but it's actually a promotion. Unlike Skippy, he is in charge of this product all by himself. Anyway, Jeremy got to go on a business trip in January to Puerto Rico. People there consume 10 times more canned chicken than all of the 50 United States combined!

Looks amazing, right? Too bad he had a fever, sore throat and could barely talk the whole time. He said that he only stood on the beach for a few minutes a couple of times. He spent most of his free time resting in bed, poor guy.

But he did find some of the sights that he and I went to during our trip in 2009!!

When Jeremy got back, we went to a company party that was 80's themed. It was really fun!

Jeremy upgraded his cymbals on his drum set. He plays about 4 times a week, and is getting better and better.

Dallin's favorite way to eat is by keeping his mouth full of food at all times.

We decided it was time to switch him over to the big boy carseat, front facing! He loves it. We also got him a big boy bed, which is a twin mattress on the ground next to Tanner's. It is so adorable seeing the boys sleeping in their beds. Dallin does well starting the night off in that bed.

We've been keeping Tanner in the very back of the car because if both carseats are in the middle row, no one can get to the back seats.

Tanner graduated from Nursery class at church. He is now in the primary and his class is called Sunbeams. They sing a song called "Jesus wants me to be a sunbeam to shine for Him each day!" Ever since being in primary, Tanner pulls out his scriptures much more often and "reads" to me. While reading to me on the rocking chair, one verse of scripture went like this: "And it came to pass that Jesus loved Mommy and Daddy and Dallin and Tanner-- that's the boy reading the scriptures right now."

One Sunday afternoon, Tanner built this "pulpit" out of pillows and became the primary chorister. He led the "children" in singing with a pencil and sang all about happy families. So adorable!

Here is Jeremy and Tanner in their matching USC sweaters. We wear lots of layers in the house so that we don't have to pay so much for our heating bill.

Also in January, we had a friend get baptized. Jeremy got to baptize Serious (the girl on my right). Her sister, Jackie, was baptized  a couple of years ago, so it was really neat for Serious to be baptized, too.

For family night one week, it was warm enough to check out one of the local outdoor ice rinks. That's right, OUTDOOR ice rink. There are at least three different parks in town with them.

This particular park had THREE ice areas where you could skate and play hockey. We watched some kids practice their drills.

Then, Jeremy and Tanner found a hockey puck stuck in some snow. We kicked it around on the ice. I was surprised at how fun it was! 

Dallin and Tanner looked so tiny on the ice!

It was really neat to just be outside in the fresh air for more than five minutes before freezing our toes off! There was something magical about being outside in the winter on ice!

One much colder night in January, it was our turn to clean the church building. (At our church, nearly everything is done on a volunteer basis, from cleaning toilets to teaching Sunday school. Even leadership positions are unpaid, including the Bishop and his counselors). Me, Jackie and Serious were cleaning machines!! So after our hard work, we went out to dessert. It was one of the funnest times I've had with these girls!

Mamas, Let's Lift Each Other Up

There are a lot of bloggers out there talking about the modern challenges of motherhood and parenthood. A few of my favorite blogs are Daddy Doin Work and Capturing Motherhood Moment by Moment.

And of course, the Huffington Post has hundreds of articles that come out every week. One I read recently was: 5 Mom-Shaming Trends That Need to Stop Now

As you can see, I have a lot to say about this article!

The author's main point is to stop judging other mamas. I agree! Believe me, the challenges that I've faced with motherhood so far have taught me that you never know how much someone is actually struggling.

While the article is trying to gain acceptance from moms, I think it ends up becoming pretty un-accepting of any mom that has had success with certain aspects of motherhood. The writer describes several experiences where moms were very angry about challenges they had with motherhood, directing much of their anger toward other moms. That's not okay with me.

I think we should stop getting all wigged out over what other moms do or do not succeed in.

Why do we have to assume that a mom that uses essential oils, or goes gluten free, or breastfeeds, or always dresses up, or shops in her pajamas, or uses cloth diapers or has an adorable nursery thinks that all other moms who don't do those things are horrible people? For the most part, that simply is not the case. 

The mom that uses essential oils probably doesn't think that using over-the-counter pain killers is bad. She probably just uses the oils because someone keeps giving them to her, and she likes the smells. That gluten free mom isn't judging others. She probably has a special needs child that responds to life better without gluten. The breastfeeding mom might have wished to bottle-feed, but thankfully her baby latched because her income gave her no other option but to breastfeed. That mom that always dresses up is probably longing for her PJ's. That pajama mom doesn't think the dressed up mothers are worldly or vain. She just doesn't own anything that fits during this "stage" of motherhood. That cloth diaper mom isn't judging the carbon footprint of others. She might have a child with extreme skin allergies. And that mom with the adorable nursery probably has a mother-in-law that insisted on decorating it and chose all the colors that she hates.

Or...maybe that mom with the cute nursery actually is super crafty and was able to find time to decorate. And maybe that gluten free mom really does believe that gluten is a menace to western diet. So why do her skills or her strong convictions have to be considered a BAD thing?! Why do her efforts to share what has worked for her somehow get interpreted as a shaming tactic to other moms?!

I think what is really happening to us women is that we are placing guilt and shame on ourselves. As women and mothers, we place all these unrealistic expectations on ourselves: "To be a good mom, I should control everything my child eats." Then we compare ourselves to others: "Suzy is dairy and gluten free. I guess I should be too or else she will think I'm not a good mom." And then when we don't meet the expectations, we allow feelings of failure to govern how we think of ourselves: "This gluten free thing is really hard. I'm a failure at it. I'm a terrible mom." And then we unfairly put blame on the people that we compared ourselves to: "It's all Suzy's fault that I feel this way. She has to be SO perfect at being gluten free!" When really all along, it was our own judgments on ourselves that caused all these feelings.

When this happens, the only productive thing that I can think of doing might turn some people off because it is religious. For real, though, I think turning to our Savior is extremely helpful with this whole concept of feeling like a successful mom. Christ helps us understand what is realistic to expect of ourselves and how to love ourselves as much as we love our neighbor. We can let Christ make up the difference for what we can't do on our own. At least for me, this is the only way I find healing from self destructive thinking, especially in regards to being a mom. 

In some comments to the article about Mom-Shaming Trends, a bunch of women described how guilty they feel about having a C-section. They feel angry toward natural birthing moms because the natural birthing moms "make" them feel like they have to justify why they had a C-section. I feel badly that these mothers think they are failures. But at the same time, it's not fair for them to blame other moms for their own feelings of sadness and loss. Other moms had nothing to do with it!

Well wait a minute, you might say. Yes, those other moms did have something to do with me feeling guilty for my unplanned C-section. The only reason I wanted a natural birth was because all these other moms were saying that I should do it, that it's the best thing for my baby. And when I tell them about the C-section, they give me this look of pity.  

So just because they encouraged you to try natural birth and are sad with you about the unplanned C-section, that automatically means they think you are a failure? You have to realize that it's okay for your friends to be sad for you when something didn't go the way you hoped. That's not being judgmental. That's called being a good friend. 

And even if they DO think you are a failure, why do you care about their opinion? I know why. Because often we feel our worth is defined by what other people think of us. I'm totally guilty of this kind of thinking. Even with preparing for my own birth, I had to constantly tell myself that it doesn't matter what other people think. 

Honestly, while other moms are feeling guilty about their C-sections, here I am, feeling guilty about my natural birth. I really enjoyed my pregnancies and natural births! But every time I say this, I'm so worried that people think I'm arrogant, or a crazy granola mom, or that I'm judging them because they maybe didn't have a similar experience.

It's stupid, really. We are so fearful of the opinions of others!

We are afraid to share our successes because we are worried others will get offended. We're afraid to share our challenges because we are worried others will judge us. Instead of owning our fears and turning to the Lord for healing and strength, we point fingers at every one else and say "It's the mom trends of today! They are shaming me. Everyone stop making me feel bad!"

Let's stop being fearful of what other people think! Let's be more loving towards others and ourselves. "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."  1 John 4: 18.

Let's stop arguing about the "right" way to be a mother. Really, the only right way to be a mother is to listen to the instincts that God gives us with our unique children and our unique situations.

Let's be comfortable with celebrating another mom's success. 

Let's allow other moms to help us during our challenging times without taking offense and assuming they are out to judge us. 

Let's lift each other up!

I agree with the women in these articles: 

The Mommy Wars, or Why Stay at Home Moms are Silent 

Let's end the Mommy Wars!! 

A Happy New Year

Between Christmas and New Year's, we had some great vacationing. Jeremy worked on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve (cuz they are slower days), and then took off Mondays. So he had a much needed relaxing two weeks. And we loved it, too, because we got to see lots of Daddy!

The boys played while Daddy snow-blowed, and then Jeremy took them around the yard a few times in the sled.

Tanner is getting very creative with his imaginary drum sets. One day, he used the remote controls for percussion instruments.

We went to the Minneapolis Zoo on one of Jeremy's days off! (Thanks, Uncle Steve and Aunt Katie for the giftcard!) You might be wondering, "Why go to the zoo in the winter? Isn't it freezing there?" The answer is yes, it is actually colder than freezing. We wanted to go to the zoo because of the huge indoor tropic exhibit they have!

Dallin and I enjoyed the toddler playroom. 

Dallin kept finding the trickiest ways to climb on the exhibit. He didn't want to go the boring way that everyone else goes.

The zoo still has animals outside for those brave enough to go see. Tanner had his heart set on seeing the tiger. So being the amazing dad that he is, Jeremy trekked out with Tanner into the 1 degree weather, through the enormous zoo with lots of space in between each animal, about 1/4 of a mile to where they finally found the tiger. It was worth it!!

Jeremy and Tanner were the only ones there to keep the tiger company.

It's just too bad that Jeremy mistakenly took the extra long way to get back to the building. They passed some camels with frozen tear drops on their faces...

And they saw a hybernating bear. Jeremy felt like a desperate father in the Martin Willy Handcart Company trying to get back to the building. It was a good mile walk before they got back inside. Poor boys were frozen stiff. We are so glad for electricity!

It was a wonderful day at the zoo.

For New Year's Eve, we got to play at the Benning's house! We love this family that we know through Jeremy's work. It was SO fun to be at their home!

We played some fun rounds of Catch Phrase...

a few games of pool...

horse riding...

barbies and dollhouse...

and Jeremy tried really hard to beat Ryan's basketball record, but to no avail! 

Both Dallin and Tanner shocked us by staying up past midnight- without any issues or tantrums. At about 9:30 pm, Jeremy suggested we head home. But the boys were happy as could be and we were all playing games, so we stayed. Then 11:00 pm rolled by, and still there was no whining or crankiness or anything! After the firework show on TV, we told the kids it was time to go. There were a few fusses and crying with getting shoes on, but not nearly what you'd expect from little kids who were up 4 hours past their bedtime. They of course passed out before we even rolled out of the driveway, so that was easy! 

But the best part was the next day. I was once again in complete shock. Throughout New Year's day, everything went normally. Our schedule went normal, and the kids were actually happy most of the day. Like when does that EVER happen?!? We decided some more celebrating needed to take place, so we ate out at the Chinese buffet (per tradition) for dinner that day.

Needless to say, we had a great time welcoming in the new year! God has blessed us so much in 2014. We look forward to the blessings, challenges, experiences and mercies that He will bring us in 2015.